The answering machine finished recording Sara’s call as I walked in. The ambulance was 
rushing my wife, Rita’s mother to the hospital; it was 4:15 p.m. Monday, August 19, 2013.
Fighting cancer had been a two-year battle. The aggressive nature of this disease made the doctor’s words prophetic, “If we don’t get it all, we’ll be chasing it…”
Like a boxer, with each blow Betty kept getting back up. First, the mastectomy … then, a section of bone removed from her forearm. Later, she taught herself to write with her left hand — after the amputation.
Labor Day plans included our clan making the journey home to Southeast Kansas. We planned some face time with both sets of great grand parents … four-generation-story-stuff.
Early Sunday morning Rita called her mother. Betty Lou announced she planned to retire from teaching. After 60 years, she thought, “It’s time.” In fact, she taught her last class one last time … the day before the call came.
John and Betty were dairy farmers – married 62 years. She gave birth to 7 children – Sara, Cary, Sidney, Rosa, Rita (my girl), Rodney, and Phillip. Known as Grandma Van Dyne by 20 people and Great Grandma by 34 more people … that’s a lot of influence.
Betty probably didn’t think of herself as a leader. But if leadership is intentional influence, there is no doubt.
Rita walked-in from work about 5:15 p.m., I knew something had happened. In a whisper with sobs she announced, “She’s gone.” Within an hour of her arrival at the hospital, she died a peaceful death. Her pain ended. Our pain began.
Rita and I have been listening … listening in recent weeks for what our minds need: renewal, thinking, reflection, and wisdom; what our bodies require: nutrition, activity, and rest; what we long for emotionally: the authentic, connections, support, love, and to be known; spiritually: renewal and restoration.
Many of you have experienced losses I cannot imagine.
One thing I noticed immediately following Betty’s departure: the world was still in a hurry, conditioned to live without margin. Running hard. Exhausted. How often we fall into bed only to roll out and do it all again.
When the call comes
The big questions will be answered, when the call comes; here are two:
What are you doing with the life you have been given?
Are you writing the Story today you will want told tomorrow?
Thank you Betty — not for a flawless performance — but for a perfect heart. A heart that loved unconditionally. A heart that kept yielding to the Potter’s hands.
Thanks for your contribution to the Story…
Steve
My thoughts and prayers are with you, your wife and family. Thank you for sharing your story. The majority of us have experienced (or will experience) a situation like this. During this time, the time spent/wasted by yourself and others on the unimportant things seem to become more evident.
Thank you, Cindy … and yes, such times can help us clarify what matters most.
So sorry for your loss, Steve. May God comfort you and Rita and your family during this difficult time.
Thank you, Pamela…
Sorry for your loss. It’s hard even when you know it’s coming. Sounds like she leaves quite a legacy behind! Prayers are with you.
Melissa
Indeed, Melissa, quite a legacy which made the week and funeral service a time of celebration. Thank you!
Thank you for sharing, my husband is currently in the hospital so this story hit close to home and makes you realize what truly is important in life.
May your family slowly find peace and joy in the every day to day blessing that surround all of us.
Thank you Karen … I hope your husband gets better quickly.
So sorry for your family’s loss, Steve! Betty has run well and finished her course. On the other side, I think I hear cheering…
Beautifully written, Steve. You have expressed the thoughts of our family quite eloquently. Mother raised the bar very high for all of us in every way, especially in ways eternal.
Thank you, Cary … indeed.
Thanks for sharing about our beautiful Mother.
Rosa, her story reminds us of how a legacy is built — over a lifetime — through it all.
Steve, a beautiful tribute to an awesome woman. She certainly influenced my life.
Thank you for beautifully sharing this story, for articulately expressing our processing when faced with death. Grace to walk through these days.
Very thought-provoking, Steve. And a lovely tribute to your mother-in-law, and to the marriage you and your wife have built and maintained. May God bless.
I love how God uses people to get a message to us! My grandfather (101 1/2 years old) passed away the evening of August 28 (the date or your original story). He took his last breath hearing Psalm 23 from my aunt. I am convinced that he lived as long as he did because he was always content, never wanting for anything, never wanting more than he already had; a loving wife for 73 years and a family that was always honored to learn from him. He worked hard and finished well. I thank you for reminding me that it is better to slow down and write a story than to run hard and not have a story to be told after you are gone. Thank you for sharing such a wonderful tribute. Sara and Bud are dear friends of ours and we pray for your family during this most difficult time. God Bless!